Sketch-22 Blog

Australians caused all the wars in the world...

This is dated , but I was just thinking of it...
By making that statement about Australians, it should illicit the same emotions as one of Gibsons dark moments when he stated Jews started all the wars. Why was his statement so much worse then if he had blamed it on Australians.

Is it because the Jewish have started a lot of wars? The reaction seemed to be so fueled that it seemed defensive, like a nerve was struck.

If the statement had been about australians (if the cop that pulled his drunk drivin ass over was an aussie) I can't imagine them taking such offense to a simple statement.

I guess it happened during-ish Isreals unprecedented attack on Lebanon.

Maybe you just can't say anything bad about a group who was treated so incredibly poorly by Hitler and his cronies, but the Australians have had some hard times, too.

Too soon? Not soon enough? Too silly?

UPDATE

Here's your bi-monthly update on what the group is up to. We've had a few meetings one almost had a full group. I thin the sketches this year are absurd, hilarious and perhaps provocative. Should be good, though we're not there yet.

Talk to you again in May

Let the Writing begin

To both readers of this blog!!!

The creation of next sketch season is soon to be underway. I know I've written a few ideas and the others have some brewing. I think it's gonna be another solid year. I'm gonna avoid writing about sex, politics, religion, gender and I will not reference race, creed, sexual orientation or social class and I won't use any foul language... oh I mean if I was writing for Comedy Inc.
I'm working on my Double Penetration Nun-on-crack sketch for us right now.

PEI Revue Plays This Weekend

The first annual PEI Revue plays this Thursday, Jan. 18 - Saturday, Jan. 20 at 8 p.m. at the Carrefour Theatre.  The show features Sketch members Rob MacDonald and Dennis Trainor, along with headliner Lorne Elliott, as well as Bonnie-Jean MacEachern, Carly Martin, Nancy McLure, Joey Weale, and Paul Whelan.  Come out of hibernation for a night of great comedy this weekend!

ABX's of comedy

There are many different theories out there as to what the formula for comedy is. Good luck. Comedy is often the abscence of formula. There is math in everything, but the more you break comedy apart, the less funny it becomes (Studio 60). It's about the unexpected, the absurd, the truthful and, well... the funny. That's the bottom line. Funny=Comedy. That's as complex as the theory needs to get.

For those people out there who want to be funny and ask themselves: What is funny? , I can only say one thing. stop thinking. Use drugs or alcohol or books if you need to, but the sooner you stop receiving messages from your brain the sooner your brain will start working shit out on it's own. It will figure out what funny is without any help from you. This is good policy for anything. Let your brain do all the thinking. Your brain is smarter then you are. In most cases.

Those close to me know what my theory of comedy is. It's sacred and secret, so I won't post it here. Let's just say that rollerskates are # 2.

Valentine's Day...

...is just around the corner. I am looking for a mate to be loyal with me up until (and including) the day of love: feb 14. I am not interested in a true emotional connection, I just wanna have a 'lover' on the magic day of hearts. A fellow sociopath would be most desirable, as feelings can be unproductive and painful.

I would like to mention that even though it's slipping, I have a strong lead in an online football pool.... so if that's one of your turn-on's, email me at graham@sketch22.ca. Or simply post a reply.

Snowblind Morning

I love winter mornings. I mean between 7-11 am. I like taking some time to make a good breakfast, listen to itunes, do sudoku's online, drink tea and smoke the first joint of the day as the crisp cool air wakes my skin and mind. I love getting 1 or 2 things accomplished by noon. By 'things accomplished', I mean download a TV show or drop off a resume to a potential hive.
I love the brightness of the frozen outdoors. Winter days are easily sunnier then those muggy, heavy, hot summer ones. The way the sun reflects off the snow-covered ground is blinding and shines like I imagine mithrel must.
YES! we're still alive. Winter is the greatest. It's beauty is still a secret to those temperate laditudes. It keeps the terrorists 'down there'.

Gotta go.

Santa's Sleigh Crashes Into Side Of Mountain

Inadequate headlight illumination on foggy night blamed

 

Those gifts you were waiting on Santa to bring you may not arrive at all.  Late yesterday evening, Santa Claus, his sleigh, and nine reindeer, all careened into the side of Mont Nordpol in Canada's arctic region.  Police spokesman, Sgt. Timber Forrest says preliminary investigations indicate the single-vehicle accident is most likely the result of an unnaturally dense, foggy night combined with a severely inadequate system of illumination for the sleigh.

“Apparently, Mr. Claus was flying his sleigh without any aeronautically-approved headlamps whatsoever,” said Sgt. Forrest.  “While he’s still a bit groggy, due to the accident, he’s claiming that he was flying with either magical or special guidance from the nose of the lead reindeer.  We will investigate this claim, although, at this time, there does not seem to be any truth to it, as the nose of the reindeer in question, Rudolph Reindeer, does not seem to have any special illuminating capabilities."  One of the EMS medics did note that the reindeer did seem to have a rather large pimple on the end of its face.

While Santa sustained minor cuts and abrasions, he was taken to a medical facility in Tuktayuktuk, NWT for overnight observation.  None of the reindeer seemed to have been injured, however, four of them ran away once they were untangled and unleashed from the constraints of the sleigh's harness system.  A search and rescue detail has been implemented. 

While alcohol is not believed to be involved, narcotics have not been ruled out.

Colourful Man Didn't Know Rainbows Mean "Gay"

Roy G. Biv, the man long associated with the full spectrum of  colour, and colloquially known as “The Rainbow Man”, was surprised yesterday after he was told that homosexual males had, years ago, appropriated the rainbow as a symbol of their gay community and lifestyle.

“Why in the world would they pick the rainbow?” asked Mr. Biv.  “You’d think they’d pick something more, I don’t know… more gay.”

Mr. Biv said he became aware of the rainbow’s other meaning last evening after a young gentleman had approached his car, which was parked at Victoria Park.  “I was just sitting there, last night, alone in my car,” said Mr.Biv, “listening to some Midler, when this well-shaven young man comes up to me and asks me if I was really a rainbow lover, like it says on my bumper sticker.  When I said I definitely was and hoped he was a rainbow lover too, he asked if I was interested in getting a hummer at a good price.  I told him I wasn’t really interested in guzzlers at any price and in fact, was quite happy to cruise around in my current vehicle.  It was after that that he explained to me the gay thing with rainbows.  I was taken aback."

When asked if he’d try and distance himself from rainbows, Roy G. Biv said “I don’t know if I can now.  I mean, it’s kind of what I’m all about.  Besides, it doesn't mean I'm gay."  Still, Mr. Biv says that he's not looking forward to imparting this new-found information out on his new neighbours.  "They just moved in, and I don't really know Ben Dover or Dick Knobgobbler very well, but they seem like nice gentlemen. And they love rainbows too, because they have a lovely rainbow flag strewn on the outside of their house.  I don't know how they'll take it when I tell them."

Why They Were Trafficking In The Courtroom, We'll Never Know!

Two sentenced for drug crimes

A man and woman were sentenced for drug possession and conspiracy to traffic in a Charlottetown courtroom Friday.

------
You'd think the bailiff would've noticed them before they actually sold anything.